Sub-Sister: Adventures in Substitute Teaching

Do they think I don't know what it is?

I am sooo bored. It's only 8:15. I'm doing what I'll be doing for the next seven hours: watching teenagers draw variations on the theme "pot leaf". Do you think they actually believe they're being cool and different by repeatedly drawing the same thing over and over that the rest of their classmates are also drawing over and over? I think they do... simply because it's an illegal substance.

I know this isn't an epiphany to any parent or teacher, but I'm new to this, so I only recently discovered that.. all High School students share the same brain. Yes. It's true. In reality they are all hooked to one sad, barely-functioning brain like in some cheesy sci-fi movie. I love cheesy sci-fi movies, by the way, just not when they come to life and stare out at me with blank looks from neatly lined-up desks.

Of course, I'd like to think that my friends and I were high-functioning and reasoning creatures at that age, but I'd only be lying to myself. I still remember all the times we would dissolve into uncontrollable laughter because we were "thinking the exact same thing"... like it was a miracle. Oh, the embarrassment.

Anyway, I'm stuck here babysitting. There are no lesson plans, no teacher books, no notes, not even an illegibly scribbled post-it (I got one of those once). Heck, I didn't even have a list of what students I was supposed to have until another teacher wrote their names down for me! And all of the kids are working on different subjects. How does one teach when six kids are studying algebra, three are remedial math, two are World History, and one is studying English? Nevermind me... how are the STUDENTS supposed to learn?!?

But since there are no lesson plans, all that is moot. I don't know what they're supposed to be doing and they (understandably) won't actually tell me. So they're playing computer games... and drawing pot leaves.

Oh! I just saw one pull out a textbook! Wait... he's just using it for a pillow. *sigh*

I want my own class. I solemnly promise to never do this to a sub.

posted by Magpie Chick at 12:39 PM