Sub-Sister: Adventures in Substitute Teaching

The Wheels on the Bus

So last week I started the much-anticipated School Bus Driver training. This was actually just the classroon learnin' part, I don't start driving until next week. That's when the really frightening fun begins!

So at this point all I have is a head full of pretty useless statistics... you know the kind. Stuff that enables you to be the armchair Jeopardy! and Trivial Pursuit master that you are... except bus-related. In other words, I now know the sort of crap that is of absolutely no practical use in the real world. I can tell you the amount of tread bus tires are required to have, at what psi the air compressor governor kicks on and off, and I can recite the parts of the braking system. But what I really need to know is stuff like: How do I keep a kid from throwing up so I don't have to hose down the bus? When do I grow those much-needed eyes in the back of my head? And what do I do if/when I knock down a stop sign?

At least the classes are interesting, and full of fun people. My fellow wannabe-drivers are all teachers, coaches, subs, and custodians. In other words, we all have that special brand of insanity that's needed to deal with the kiddies on a regular basis. In other other words... the instructor is having a bit of a problem keeping the peanut gallery in check. Because we're all the peanut gallery. Much of the class goes like this:


Instructor: "...And this is the slack adjuster."

High School Teacher: "Slack adjuster? I need one of those in my classroom."

Football Coach: "What so you mean? That's your job."

HS Teacher: "Huh?"

Coach: "Dude, you're the slack adjuster!"

Instructor: "Ahem... so if it needs fixing, the mechanic will adjust the nut."

Me: "See, all you have to do is find the main nut and do a little adjusting."


There's always one in every class. This poor instructor has about 10.

posted by Magpie Chick at 10:44 PM