Sub-Sister: Adventures in Substitute Teaching

Sexy Beast

I have a confession. See, most of the time my brain doesn't work quickly enough. Usually, I'm thinking of a clever comeback or witty rejoinder about 30 seconds after the moment has passed. But then there are times that the ol' brain works at full speed, and those smart-alecky comments just race to the tip of my tongue. Those are inevitably the times that I don't need to say anything. Oh, the irony. You want an example? Why, I just happen to have one on hand right here!

Recently, I took a group on a field trip out of state (we're near the state border, so that's not as big a deal as it sounds). On the way, we had to go through a toll. Now, school buses get to go through those puppies for free as long as they're transporting students. No problem.

But on the way back home, the second time through the toll that day, I got asked the stupidest question ever. By the way, they had closed the wide load lane so I had to maneuver the Beast through the regular itty-bitty lane which is like threading a needle with yarn, but that's a whole other story. Anyway, this was one of those times that my brain actually worked.

After I squeezed (that sounds wrong... squoze?) the bus through the lane up to the toll booth, the toll-worker-lady looks up at me, squints at the tinted windows down the side of the bus, and asks, "Are there students on the bus?"

Think about that for a sec. I'm in a vehicle that guzzles gas like it's free, and handles like a drunken elephant. I'm not only across county lines, but in an entirely different state than the one emblazoned on the side of the vehicle. And she wanted to know if there were students on the bus.

My immediate urge was to say, "Students? On this thing?! Why? Nah, I'm just cruisin' the strip for some men, 'cause this Beast is so SEXY!"

But what I actually did was smile and say, "Yes."

I'm actually right proud of myself. I proved that my brain can work quickly if it wants, that I can control my tongue if I want, and that working with children hasn't smothered all my lovely sarcasm. Wonderful.

posted by Magpie Chick at 11:27 PM