Sub-Sister: Adventures in Substitute Teaching

Me, Bubba, and Tater

I was calling roll in a 2nd grade class the other day when I came across a bit of a problem.

"Karen?"
"Here!"
"Caleb?"
"Yep."
"Steven?"
...
"Steven?"
"Ms. Substitute, he's called 'Tater'."

So I wander over to Tater and ask "Hon, what's your name?"
"Tater"
"No Baby, what do your parents call you?"
"Tater.'
"OKaaaay. What does your teacher call you?"
"Tater."
"Really?"
Nods.
"Huh. What name is on your Birth Certificate?"
"Steven."
"Alright! Now we're getting somewhere! Now, your name is Steven. Think you can remember that? Good."

See, I'm the kind of teacher who won't call a child by a nickname. I really just don't want to. It makes me feel silly. Now, I have no problem with calling Jennifer "Jenny" (or "Jeni" as is so often the case these days), Samantha can be "Sam", William can be "Will", and Malcolm can be "Mal". Neither do I have a problem with calling someone by their middle name, or even their first and middle name together this being the South and all. So you might hear me call out "Jenny Louise" or "Margie May".

But you will never catch me shouting "Cookie", "Peanut", "Red", "Little Man", "Fatboy", "Cooter", or any other ridiculous appellation across the room. Even the idea of that makes me feel foolish. I am a grown woman. I shouldn't ever have to utter the nickname "Froggie". Ever.

Seriously, people.

posted by Magpie Chick at 6:46 PM