Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, do not leave a video for your sub. It is the kiss of death.
If you are lucky, the students will either fall asleep or sneak out of the darkened room. But if hell didn't freeze over during the previous night, what you will actually have is anarchy. And you will have nothing to grab their attention and turn them to the side of good and order. No. Because all you have is a video tape.
Trust me, they do not want to see that episode of "3-2-1 Contact" from 1983.
Anybody who has ever been stuck in a long line of traffic behind a school bus knows that those puppies have speed governors on them. Here where I live, most governors are set at 35-45 mph, but activity buses can be set at 55 mph. It's not looking in the rearview, seeing the line of cars trailing behind you, with all the drivers looking really really mad that's so bad; the truly irritating thing is the effect these contraptions have on the children. Hey, I'm all about the welfare of the babies.
So, last week I was driving a Middle School athletic team to a game when one of the kids announces that he has to "go". Of course, he says this in a most urgent tone, panic in his eyes. This isn't a casual observation. This is an Annie-sized emergency (I was saying "When ya gotta go, ya gotta go" for years after I saw that movie). And of course we're in the middle of utter nowhere. BFE. The Boonies. Sticksville... I can't think of any more slang. The coach tells him that he'll have to wait until the next rest area. That's only a few minutes away, so no big deal, right? Wrong. We stumble on an outpost of civilization, and the poor dear starts yelling:
"There's a BP! They got bathrooms there!"
"You can still turn!"
"Turn here! Turn!"
"Ooh, there's a grocery store! I bet they'd let me pee there!"
Then the child leans over my shoulder, looks at the speedometer and begs:
"Go faster! Speed, woman! SPEED!!!"
Ha! That still makes me laugh. Anyway, I tried to explain about the hated governor, but I could see it in his eyes: All his full-bladder-adled brain understood was that the meanest bus driver in the world wanted him to wet his pants.
And that is why I think all governors should be outlawed. Think about the children, people!
*** By the way, he did make it to the rest area. No puddles allowed on my bus.
