Sub-Sister: Adventures in Substitute Teaching

Do they think I don't know what it is?

I am sooo bored. It's only 8:15. I'm doing what I'll be doing for the next seven hours: watching teenagers draw variations on the theme "pot leaf". Do you think they actually believe they're being cool and different by repeatedly drawing the same thing over and over that the rest of their classmates are also drawing over and over? I think they do... simply because it's an illegal substance.

I know this isn't an epiphany to any parent or teacher, but I'm new to this, so I only recently discovered that.. all High School students share the same brain. Yes. It's true. In reality they are all hooked to one sad, barely-functioning brain like in some cheesy sci-fi movie. I love cheesy sci-fi movies, by the way, just not when they come to life and stare out at me with blank looks from neatly lined-up desks.

Of course, I'd like to think that my friends and I were high-functioning and reasoning creatures at that age, but I'd only be lying to myself. I still remember all the times we would dissolve into uncontrollable laughter because we were "thinking the exact same thing"... like it was a miracle. Oh, the embarrassment.

Anyway, I'm stuck here babysitting. There are no lesson plans, no teacher books, no notes, not even an illegibly scribbled post-it (I got one of those once). Heck, I didn't even have a list of what students I was supposed to have until another teacher wrote their names down for me! And all of the kids are working on different subjects. How does one teach when six kids are studying algebra, three are remedial math, two are World History, and one is studying English? Nevermind me... how are the STUDENTS supposed to learn?!?

But since there are no lesson plans, all that is moot. I don't know what they're supposed to be doing and they (understandably) won't actually tell me. So they're playing computer games... and drawing pot leaves.

Oh! I just saw one pull out a textbook! Wait... he's just using it for a pillow. *sigh*

I want my own class. I solemnly promise to never do this to a sub.

posted by Magpie Chick at 12:39 PM | 1 comment(s)

Next time I'm bringing my knitting

Two weeks ago, I had to teach on a Saturday (We has missed a day earlier due to "inclement weather"). No one wants to be in school on the weekend, not the kids, and certainly not the adults. There were people shuffling throught the halls in their jammies and fluffy slippers. There was no learning. There were no discussions. There was MTV, and the occasional grunt that passed as verbalization. I thought the day would never end. I thought it was the longest day of my life.

I was wrong.

Today I am a "resource teacher". And what would that be? To be honest, I didn't even know until I had been in the room for two hours. After I had watched my one student play computer games for said two hours. But after I found someone with the answers, well I was off and running!

Turns out, a "resource teacher" is basically a tutor. Students come in and get help with whatever subjects/projects they need help with. This is great for a regular teacher, but for a substitute this class translates into: sit and watch 0-5 students play Skip-Bo and Uno for the entire day.

Did you catch that?

The Entire Day.

I did actually have a lesson plan of sorts. Trying to decipher it helped fill some of those long hours. I copied it down so I could share the joy (changing pertinent info, of course):
1A/B
MB
Biology - homework, reading
English - vocab, writing
KL
English - vocab
1B
AR
Research paper
2A/B
DW
Paper
History - homework, reading
GR
English
Math
3A/B
Alg - homework
English - grammar, vocab

When, for some inexplicable reason, I managed to screw up my "schedule" and didn't show up someplace I was supposed to be... a teacher told me off! LOL High School is not my friend.

posted by Magpie Chick at 12:42 PM | 0 comment(s)