Who are you today?
I've been substitute teaching for the past month, and every day I get asked who I "am" for the day. Makes me feel like a celebrity impersonator.
I so wish I had the nerve to write about some of the stuff I've experienced.
OK. I just scrounged up that nerve. I need to share with someone.
My "favorite" day so far was in the HS math classes I recently had. First off: algebra. No biggie. I had algebra. 16 years ago. It'll come back to me. And Lo and Behold! It did come back. At least, I think it did... then again, I may have screwed up those kids' views on exponents for the rest of their lives.
Next up: trigonometry. I had trig. 15 or so years ago. I don't think it ever really sunk in. I scan the book...
sine,
cosine,
cotangent. Blurgh?!? Cue the start of class: "Your assignment is on the board. You may work quietly in groups. If you have any questions... ask your neighbor 'cause I can't help you." I know, I know. I committed the cardinal sin of subbing: "never admit you don't know what you're doing", but you can't BS your way through a math lesson. They ended up being a good class. Talkative, but I
did give them permission, after all.
Lastly: calculus. Never made it that far. At least it's a class of seniors, and it's small. Glad I brought a book with me.
I have these same classes later this week. Yay! Yet another opportunity to feel utterly uneducated and ill-prepared!
One thing great about this whole subbing business: never a dull day. A few dull class periods here and there, but when you have high school one day and 5-year-olds the next...wheeeee!!!!
MIB, baby!
J: "Why the big secret? People are smart, they can handle it."
K: "A *person* is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."-MIB (1997)
I love this line. Who would think to find such a nugget of truth in such a silly little movie? Nothing like peer pressure and people without two brain cells to rub together to incite group stupidity and violence. Wondering what I'm talking about? Google "Muhammad cartoon". Dangerous animals indeed...
I been learnin' stuff!
If nothing else, this blog has encouraged me to keep up with my current events. I've been reading ALL of the newspaper every day instead of just picking up the pop culture/Dear Abby/comics section, all so I can have interesting topics to post here.
So what have I decided to talk about today? Is it the ridiculously overblown uproar over those Danish Muhammad cartoons? How about the recent passing of Coretta Scott King? Or the death of Betty Friedan, whose book "The Feminine Mystique" was so influential in the fight for women's rights? I even started an entry on Bush's recent State of the Union address, but I just couldn't find it in myself to be interested for more than 3 minutes. But I eventually found a subject that was well worth my time and this space. A subject of more than passing fancy, of earth-shattering consequence, of total personal amusement.
Yes. William Shatner. What has. The king of halting. Speech and self-depricating humor done that is so astonishing? Bill passed a kidney stone. Eeewww... But the really interesting thing is that he decided to auction it off. No, I take that back. The REALLY interesting thing is that someone actually bought that sucker. For the total sum of... are you sitting down... $75,000 (one source said $25,000, but either is entirely too much)!! Okay, so the money goes to charity (
Habitat for Humanity), but... c'mon! If you have an extra 75 grand just burning a hole in your pocket, then I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands. Granted, I don't have a nifty cool kidney stone to give you in return, but I could scrounge up a cool lock of hair. Or some fingernail clippings. Ooh! I've got it! I've been fighting off a sinus infection for almost four months, and it's finally breaking up, so you can just imagine the interesting sort of things that I could... um... produce ;) All well worth your gobs of spare change!
